July 18th, 2008. Central Park, Manhattan. 3:06 pm

The point is... thats what happened to me on salvia.

30 SECONDS EARLIER...

The first time I did Salvia, it was in central park. I was with three of my friends and I smokled a full bowl to my face.

It was sort of rude, but I fell to the ground and I melted into the trees. I became one of the tree people, who I found out were governed by the fairies and I became one of the fairies and the fairies eventually made me their fairy queen. I was as tall as the trees, and I was looking down around me and seeing the world and the park and just saying “whoah...this is cool.”

The fairies eventually made me their fairy queen, did I mention that?

A group of fairies did eventually band together and then they usurped me as fairy queen. They cast me down back into the human world and banned me from their fairy kingdom.

At which point I came down from my high. This lasted all of five minutes.

- Lynn Madison, P.S.

THURSDAY.

If you ever eat food from a popular American fast food chain, lets call it Ivory Fortress.


It tastes shitty. But if yer supes hungry than it'll do ya good.

But all of your farts the next day will smell EXACTLY like the same fuckin' food BEFORE YOU FUCKING ATE IT THE NIGHT BEFORE!!! it smells faintly tasty if yer hungry after 6 hours from work but then YOU REMEMBER ITS A FART. Furthermore, that also means that the food you ate last night kind of tasted like FUCKING FARTS MAN. I ATE SIX FUCKING FART SLIDERS LAST NIGHT.

I'm probably not goin' back to Ivory Fortress again.

An Hour in the Life: Hugh Carol's color commentary of a silent documentary.

********A Note to readers. the following is a semi-transcripted post of an everyman's opinions while watching a documentary film, and while the post is hopefully pretty funny, its SUPERFLY to read while watching the movie.
      
      But the flick is kind of hard to get so good luck lookin...( http://www.torrents.to/ ) But listen, and I need to get kind of serious for a second so bear with me.  you don't know me if you get caught. you know, you don't knoooow me?!? Seriously don't tell anyone though because I will probably go to jail in a heartbeat with my record of a uh...well lets just call it an illegal human smuggling operation where I tried to make some extra cash. Can't get much more specific then that but well, lets just also say I'm wanted for murder by two racial gangs in every prison in the tri-state area. 
       
       The aryans at Sing Sing especially. The Leader of the chapter there, Lester Carbunkle, he's actually my uncle on my moms side. which is fucked up right. I mean even besides the fact that my semi distant (but not distant enough) relative has a price on my head, even more importantly: my mothers full name is Caroline Carol-Carbunkle. Thats with her maiden name attached because Caroline Carol would be super annoying! 


"Carol Carol whats up!" 
"Who's goin' to the movie? um, Emma winger, Franny Ford, Carol Carol, Carol Carloftes. teehee."


      I shit you not. My mother Caroline Carbunkle married Christopher Hughes Carol. and on an unusually rainy evening in 1976, wind tapping and rattling gently at the window pains of Scottsdale memorial hospital, we found our hero steadily pacing back and forth in the waiting room, a pink cigar in one hand and in the other a glassful of scotch with a polished wedding ring-ed finger gripping a cuban, lovingly adorned with a velvet blue hand tied ribbon. And thats when the nurse burst in and said 


"You're a dad!!! Hugh Delacroix Carol Carbunkle!!!"


And you know what it turns out it was a fuckin Boy! IT WAS A BOOOYYY!!!


Man I'll bet that scotch was good.
your welcome pop. i was totally the fastest swimmer!


    Anyways just please remember the whole Aryan sing sing thing with my uncle who wants to kill me and don't rat. and  please enjoy the movie while you read the actual blog post. I'm sorry for the long ass note to preface it but I just want us all to be clear so we can enjoy this magical movie experience together! So Please enjoy the third and final installment of  Godfrey Reggio's thrilling musical documentary opus "Naqoyqatsi" (pronounced nah-koy-kotsy!) and have a great evening!


H¢ 

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____NOQOYQATSI  __a film by Godfrey Reggio. 89 minutes. Rated PG for mild thematic violence.


00:00-07:42 -- Watchin' A crazy documentary. Showing beautiful panoramic shots of abandoned and neglected buildings.I think that abandoned buildings are the saddest thing in the world. I wanna write a blog about it, the plight of humanity and eco-friendly ways to rebuild societies instead of abandon them.


07:42-09:20 -- The scene just fuckin' changed to a shitty fuckin ass early nineties level CGI shot (like polygonal or some shit) of a pyramid rising up from the sand and after the scene changes to a shitty special effects shot of people on a crowded city street in x-ray vision ("wow we all have the same skeletons inside all of us! murderers and child rapists and cops in the city of Flagstaff Arizona alike!). The music blows too, fuck this shit I'm just gonna write somethin' in the foreword of this commentary instead of actually watching the movie. I can tell its gonna suck ass anyway.




  

JACK BARER (an ad for a new bar)

We are Jack Barer. We believe in the power of rock and roll. We love guitars. We abhor homophobia. If we have to kill for our nations safety we know we can.  We hate hetero-phobia too. We enjoy a cold beer. We cannot abide a mean drunk. We don’t get organized religion. 

We here at the jack Barer adore disco. We despise racism. We cannot respect disrespectful behavior. We do not condone “velvet ropes.” We do not care who is a celebrity and who is not. We can be silly. We kind of understand Republicans. We wing it. We try to obey traffic laws. We do believe variety is the spice of life. We do not enjoy excessive profanity. Damn it. We think we’re Ginger, but we’re really Mary Anne. We love a parade. We would like to see Bush and Cheney brought to court. We are Jack Barer Goddamn it.  Love it or leave it. We can tolerate a happy drunk but not a sloppy drunk. We do not like shrill voices, especially indoors. We are happy to open the door for you. We love a good martini. We only have 24 hours. We sometimes fall down. We admire musicians. We are regrettably distrustful of arabs. We enjoy a night on the town. We think we all need more exercise. We skinny dip. We love L.A. and we heart N.Y.(!!!). We’re more partial to scruff. We miss our dearly departed friends and family. We look forward to making new friends and family. We like to travel and are ready to defend our borders from the forces of tyranny at all costs. We love coming home to Jack Barer.

http://www.akbarsilverlake.com/ ----->awesome post for a bar in L.A.

Your Porn Star Name.

For anybody out there who for some reason or other craves anonymity, start with an alias. At first glance it seems easy; just think of the first name that comes to your head and go with it. the problem is that this method usually leads to the most bland and trite names on the planet. "Hi im john (bob/joe) Smith (Newheart/Schmoe)." So for those of us who need their alias' to become heroes, to do good and fight the forces of evil, for those of us that use alias' (aliases? Aleei? aliass?) in order to satiate an unhealthy yearning to sway society and move mountains, why not be a guy with a huge cock.
Why not be a chick with some tig ol' bitties and an AWESOME ping pong ball trick. What better confidence booster than to be someone who has sex hundreds, if not THOUSANDS of times a year.You'll have swaggering power over every obstacle that gets in your way!
So just use your middle name as a first name, use the name of the street you first grew up on (or a street nearby, I don't wanna get a bunch of comments saying it doesn't work because your name would be Thomas 33 Ave.!!!) And blammo, You're ready to change the world.

So from your humble public servant Hugh Carol,
I bid yall adeux.



------------FOOTNOTE-------------------------------------

in reference to this entire post - (sp?)