JACK BARER (an ad for a new bar)

We are Jack Barer. We believe in the power of rock and roll. We love guitars. We abhor homophobia. If we have to kill for our nations safety we know we can.  We hate hetero-phobia too. We enjoy a cold beer. We cannot abide a mean drunk. We don’t get organized religion. 

We here at the jack Barer adore disco. We despise racism. We cannot respect disrespectful behavior. We do not condone “velvet ropes.” We do not care who is a celebrity and who is not. We can be silly. We kind of understand Republicans. We wing it. We try to obey traffic laws. We do believe variety is the spice of life. We do not enjoy excessive profanity. Damn it. We think we’re Ginger, but we’re really Mary Anne. We love a parade. We would like to see Bush and Cheney brought to court. We are Jack Barer Goddamn it.  Love it or leave it. We can tolerate a happy drunk but not a sloppy drunk. We do not like shrill voices, especially indoors. We are happy to open the door for you. We love a good martini. We only have 24 hours. We sometimes fall down. We admire musicians. We are regrettably distrustful of arabs. We enjoy a night on the town. We think we all need more exercise. We skinny dip. We love L.A. and we heart N.Y.(!!!). We’re more partial to scruff. We miss our dearly departed friends and family. We look forward to making new friends and family. We like to travel and are ready to defend our borders from the forces of tyranny at all costs. We love coming home to Jack Barer.

http://www.akbarsilverlake.com/ ----->awesome post for a bar in L.A.

Your Porn Star Name.

For anybody out there who for some reason or other craves anonymity, start with an alias. At first glance it seems easy; just think of the first name that comes to your head and go with it. the problem is that this method usually leads to the most bland and trite names on the planet. "Hi im john (bob/joe) Smith (Newheart/Schmoe)." So for those of us who need their alias' to become heroes, to do good and fight the forces of evil, for those of us that use alias' (aliases? Aleei? aliass?) in order to satiate an unhealthy yearning to sway society and move mountains, why not be a guy with a huge cock.
Why not be a chick with some tig ol' bitties and an AWESOME ping pong ball trick. What better confidence booster than to be someone who has sex hundreds, if not THOUSANDS of times a year.You'll have swaggering power over every obstacle that gets in your way!
So just use your middle name as a first name, use the name of the street you first grew up on (or a street nearby, I don't wanna get a bunch of comments saying it doesn't work because your name would be Thomas 33 Ave.!!!) And blammo, You're ready to change the world.

So from your humble public servant Hugh Carol,
I bid yall adeux.



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in reference to this entire post - (sp?)